Trust and Wishes
by laurzz
Summary: DannyLindsay. Post-ep oneshot for 7x05. "It hurts that the person I thought I knew wasn't the person I knew at all."


**A/N: Holy mother: firstly - Carmine in uniform - can I just say... They just gave us to that on a plate! AND WITH GLASSES. Harry Potter-esque glasses, but they were freaking glasses nonetheless. I think a little bit of me died inside. Both Danny and Lindsay in their dress blues in the same season? Why thank you, TPTB. **

**Seriously though – they wouldn't give Danny an ugly partner would they? You'd see them riding past you, and you'd freaking commit a crime for the sheer thrill of getting arrested by those two! ... or is that just me? **

**Also - new favourite saying: "they're a little bit dead right now." And who would have thought that would have come from Mac? Genius. **

**And finally – you knew shit was going down when Danny was in slo-mo as he headed towards his buddy's hospital room. Love it! **

**So there we go - that was basically everything I couldn't fit into the one-shot but wanted to comment on regardless... My loser-factor just went up about 10 notches... I'm sorry guys! haha.**

**Huge, huge HUGE thank you to all of you lovely people who reviewed last week's one-shot. I'm glad you all liked it. They were so much fun to read - and well, who wouldn't love the amazing and lovely compliments you guys always throw my way? Shout outs to: **NorthernLights25, csimesser1, rapidtetv, Aveo amacus, Meredith and Derek, MesserFamilyFan100, brendanakai, saturn567, mjels, hannqhn, ZoeyBug, danny-lindsay4e, Megan zzz, cklovesm-m, Sweet LIL loz, saderia, Juliab24, afrozenheart412, 18lzytwner, Hope06 and messermonroeforever125**! Thanks guys! :D **

* * *

_Post-ep oneshot; season 7 - episode 5, Out of the Sky_**  
**

* * *

"Here baby... what do you wish for?" Lindsay asked, tossing her husband a penny.

"If I tell you, it won't come true." He grinned, glancing up from his paperwork.

"But it's me," she smiled as she perched on the edge of his desk. "And it's hypothetical anyway."

"I always wish for the same thing." Danny explained. "So if I tell you, it won't come true the next time I wish for it."

"Has it come true before?"

Danny smiled as he nodded and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Take that as a yes."

"Take it as you wish," he winked at her before turning his attention back to his paperwork, and instantly his demeanour changed and he sighed heavily. "Fuckin' paperwork. I hate it."

"That's some colourful language." Lindsay commented, noticing the dramatic change in her husband. "Is everything okay?"

"I just got better things to do with my time than to sit here and have to go through this monotonous bullshit."

"Are you sure that's it?" Lindsay asked with an arched eyebrow. "Because something tells me that paperwork is not your problem here..."

"It's the paperwork." Danny insisted.

"And not the fact that you've had to deal with some pretty heavy stuff today?"

"Is this why you came in with a penny ice-breaker?"

"Well, part of that was just curiosity because I've done it to everyone else... you'd be surprised batting my eyelashes can do."

"Really? You're really saying that to me? I'm the king of succumbing to Lindsay Messer and her eyelash batting."

"Oh yeah," Lindsay giggled. "Forgot about that... but seriously, you'd never believe what people wish for."

"I dread to think," Danny mused playfully. "So the penny ice-breaker? Did you feel like you needed one?"

"A little," she blushed.

"We need ice-breakers now?" Danny inquired. "There something goin' on I don't know about? When have we ever needed ice-breakers?"

"Well, it's been a tough day, and I wanted to show you that if you didn't want a big deal being made out of it then that was okay and I was totally fine in letting you just get on with it but..." Lindsay said gently, "How are you holding up?"

He shrugged slowly. "It's not everyday you have to arrest someone you thought you knew; someone you thought was a friend... but all things considerin', I'm alright."

"Really?" Lindsay pushed, knowing he was holding back.

"Yeah." He nodded, avoiding eye-contact with his wife.

"Danny..." She sighed. "I know you don't want to talk about it but..."

He glanced up and observed the busy lab. Pursing his lips together, he made a decision; standing up from his chair, he took Lindsay's hand and led her silently from the office. He maintained his silence as he guided them through the lab to the stairwell, and began the ascent to what only Lindsay could assume was the roof. Instead of questioning Danny's intentions, she merely locked her fingers around his tightly – giving him the comfort knowing she was right there for him.

Her assumptions were correct as minutes later after climbing a few levels; Danny held open the door, allowing them access to the roof. She threw a questioning glance at him – one to which he simply overlooked as he continued to guide her across the rooftop, finally coming to a halt in the exact place where he'd found her months previous after her award ceremony.

"Danny?" She whispered as she ran a finger over his cheek. "What are we doing up here?"

"I wanted to combine the two; I know this place worked for you."

"Combine the two?" Lindsay inquired. "Come again?"

Instead of answering, Danny merely pulled Lindsay into his arms and buried his face in her hair, allowing the scent of her to soothe him and bring him back down to his usual functioning self. He had been running on adrenaline for the past few days – and he knew that. He was quickly coming down from the high, and it was inevitable that he was going to have a crash landing after everything that had happened.

"I just needed to have a minute or two with you, privately."

"And there's not much chance of privacy when there's a lab full of beady eyes, looking for a bit of Messer action," she finished with a small giggle.

"Exactly." He nodded as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked - her tone soft and comforting.

"No," he shook his head. "Not really."

"Alright," she nodded. "If, or when you do-"

"Why Linds?" he cut her off. "Why did he do that? Or more importantly, _how_ could he do that?"

She let out a breath as she enveloped Danny in a hug, holding him tight.

"I mean, he had so much goin' for him" he whispered into her hair, "and now what? He's in Rikers. Mr Personality he was. People freakin' loved him. Hell, people loved us! It was always Jimmy and me. I met Flack through Jimmy. And now... nothing: everything we did, and everything we were as friends and partners – it's like it all amounted to absolutely nothing."

"Jimmy's changed in time that you two drifted apart Danny – what Jimmy was before is something you should hold onto. It was a good time in your life – on the beat, doing what you loved. Don't let this take away from that."

"Why was he workin' for that scumbag, Linds? I don't get it... he was so much more than that."

"Some people change, Danny," Lindsay reasoned.

"But Linds, it could have been me. All this shit that's goin' down for him – that could have been me!"

"No." She said simply.

"Yeah Linds," he insisted. "It could have been me. I could have checked the squad car. I could have missed that gun... then what?"

"Danny, mistakes happen. You know that. And you've not been a perfect angel in the NYPD – you've made mistakes and decisions that have backfired on you, but you're still here. You didn't resign."

"I also didn't get two cops shot, Lindsay."

"No but you nearly shot one yourself, remember? Rodney Minhas. I wasn't even here then and I know exactly what you went through. That could have been more destructive to your career, but you didn't let it. You rose above it."

"But Linds, it wasn't me in the end."

"So? Once people think they know what happened you're pretty much done for, are you not?"

Danny contemplated what Lindsay was saying to him and nodded slowly. "But-"

"There is no but about this Danny, I know you, don't I?"

"I like to think so." He teased.

"Better than you know yourself?" She pressed on.

"Sometimes - well, all the time actually."

"Exactly. I mean by all means I'm not saying I knew you when you were a uni, because I didn't... but the person I know now wouldn't have done what Jimmy has. You wouldn't Danny – I know that and you know that."

"But what if I hadn't have seen the gun. What if that had been me, Linds? I would'a never got this gig with Mac. Never. Not in a million years. I wouldn't have you and Lucy..."

"Danny, everything happens for a reason. It wasn't you that went back to look in the squad car. End of story. If it was meant to be you, it would have been you – but it wasn't. You did your job and you shouldn't think about the what if's - it's irrelevant."

"But Linds, it wrecked Jimmy's life. Those few seconds changed his entire life."

"That's Jimmy's problem Danny, not yours. You can't hold yourself responsible for the mistakes he made."

"I don't," He shook his head. "It just hits home that I could have made the same mistakes."

"But you didn't. You've made different ones; so you've been lucky and you can learn from both the mistakes that you, yourself made, but also from the ones that Jimmy made. You're not always going to see everything because let's face it; to me you're perfect, but you can't always be perfect. Sometimes we miss things – we're only human."

"But he's just... I thought I knew him Linds. I thought me and him were tight... even though we've not spoken in years; I thought it was one of those friendships where if we ever saw each other, it would be exactly like where we'd left it – that nothing would have changed." He paused for a moment before sitting down with his back against the wall. "That was pretty naive of me, wasn't it?"

"You trusted him Danny," Lindsay reasoned as she took a seat next to her husband. "And nobody blames you for that. You _had_ to trust him in the line of duty. He was your partner."

"But is there such a thing as being too trusting?"

"Only until they give you a reason not to trust them."

"I just... it blows my mind that someone I was so close to is capable of doing all that he has. He's killed five people Lindsay – granted not all of them were completely innocent. But he pulled the trigger on five people that he shouldn't have. You pulled the trigger on one and saved your entire family and you fought with that for months. He's killed five people Lindsay and he probably won't think twice about it, and that scares me. It scares me that somebody I thought I knew so well, I really knew nothing at all."

"You can't get yourself worked up about this Danny," Lindsay sighed as she tangled their fingers together and squeezed his hand as a gesture of affection and comfort. "This isn't on you, nor is it anything to do with you. You have to rise above all that this Jimmy person has done and realise that sometimes people make bad choices. I'm sure he's not a bad person... he's just made a few wrong turns."

"Murdering five people isn't a few wrong turns, Linds. Killing five people is a freakin' car crash in the middle of Times Square."

"I agree," Lindsay nodded. "But this isn't your fight to fight, baby."

"I just... feel responsible. I should have had a uniform stationed outside his door... something – anything. It was right there in front of me and I didn't do anything. I was too hung up thinkin' about Lucy and you and what I needed to get at the store, and what time we'd get off work to actually do my job."

"You do your job." Lindsay snapped. "And you're amazing at what you do, so don't for one second even start to second guess yourself, because I'm not going to sit here and listen to that. You're allowed to think about your daughter. You're allowed to think about your wife – and hell, write a mental list of groceries – you don't think people with office jobs sit there and scribble down a list of things to buy? You didn't know he was a threat Danny. It was not your responsibility in making sure that Jimmy didn't do anything – until he gave you reason to believe that he needed to be watched, how were you expected to know?"

"I just... it's hard, baby."

"I know," Lindsay nodded as she continually ran her thumb over the top of his hand. "You've got to just take a step back and realise that this isn't your fault."

"I don't think it's my fault," he shook his head, "I just... I'm hurt, as stupid as that sounds. It hurts that the person I thought I knew wasn't the person I knew at all. That someone I trusted violated everything I believe in personally."

"Well, if I'm honest I'm quite glad you don't believe in murdering people."

"Smartass." Danny nudged her slightly with his elbow. "You know what I mean."

"I do," she smiled as she laid her head on his shoulder. "What Jimmy did wasn't your fault, you know that – don't you?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "And I know that the person Jimmy is now wasn't the Jimmy I knew back then... I mean maybe he was – but I didn't know that, and a friend is a friend at the end of the day... This Jimmy I saw in that hospital room – that wasn't the person I knew."

"The best thing for you I think would be to look at it like you've not seen Jimmy since he left the force," Lindsay began. "Erase the memories of the case because it's only causing you hurt and upset and I hate it when you're dealing with stuff like this."

"Is it wise to erase everything that happened in the case though Linds?"

"Are you ever going to see him again?"

"No," he practically spat at her.

"Would you have seen him had the case not demanded that you two see each other again?"

"Well... it's a possibility, but I doubt that I would have gone out of my way to see him."

"Exactly... so it's not as if you know this guy anymore, is it? Wouldn't class yourself as a good friend anymore."

"If you had said that to me yesterday then I would have said you were wrong, but I think you're right... we were friends, but once upon a lifetime ago... I've got other friends, priorities... people in my life that I _want _to focus on."

"Exactly," Lindsay smiled. "So really – put him to the back of your mind where he was before and leave him there. Put it down to experience maybe?

"I guess." he sighed heavily. "So you know, and if you were wonderin', I wish for you and Lucy."

Lindsay turned and pursed her lips, blushing slightly as she did so. "You do?"

He nodded as he wrapped his arm around his wife, pulling her into his side.

"What do you wish for?" Lindsay asked, following Danny's lead in changing their topic of conversation.

"My wish isn't to mean everything to everyone but something to someone."

Lindsay furrowed her brow as she tried to figure out what it is that he meant. "Come again?"

"Basically I hope and pray that you won't wake up one day and think that you're wasting your time with me... and that I actually mean the world to you and Lucy... because you two are the only ones that matter to me, and I never want to lose you two."

"Baby, I wake up every day and wish that I wake up tomorrow with the exact same feeling; you've got no chance of me going anywhere ever."

"I just love my girls and you guys mean a hell of a lot to me." he blushed, "I mean I wish for other things too – like a million dollars and a few extra thousand square feet in our apartment... but realistically, so long as you and I are together and our marriage is on the right track and we're happy... and Lucy's happy and healthy; I'm good – that's really all I need."

"Danny..." Lindsay whispered as she cupped his cheeks. "That's really sweet."

He leant forward and sealed his lips to Lindsay's. "I love you." He whispered after pulling away briefly. "And thank you; for you know... always managing to help me out of the funks I get in when things get too heavy."

"You're welcome," she returned.

After a few more moments of comfortable silence, the two decided that they'd spent quite a significant amount of time undetected on the roof. This time, Lindsay led the way down the stairwell and after a few minutes they were making their way back into the crime lab.

"Back to work?" Lindsay sighed as they were faced with the usual hustle and bustle of the crime-lab.

"Back to work." Danny returned.

"I've been looking for you two!" A voice sounded behind them, making them turn. "Where were you?"

"The roof," Lindsay blushed, embarrassed that they'd taken so long away from shift when they were supposed to be around for when Mac needed them. "Sorry Mac..."

"The rooftop?" Mac inquired with an arched brow. "Who's upset?"

Sharing a smile between the two of them, Lindsay squeezed Danny's hand before letting go. "We were just looking for shooting stars."

"At three in the afternoon?" Mac laughed. "Why - as a part of your analysis of the penny? In fact, no; wait, I'm not even going to ask. Get back to work, slackers."

"We're on it," Danny laughed as he wrapped his arm around Lindsay, the both of them heading back to their office.

The settled back down to their paperwork quickly, sharing glances every so often, but for the majority, working in a companionable silence.

"You ever heard of the saying, 'seek not that the things which happen should happen as you wish; but wish the things which happen to be as they are'?" Danny asked randomly, breaking their silence.

"I can't say that I have," She smiled as she glanced away from her notes. "But I can work it out..."

"Fitting isn't it? – for us I mean."

"It's perfect."

* * *

**There we have it. I hope you guys liked it. I know it was a little random in places, but it's 5am, (I went to bed at 8, got up at 1 watched Medium and NY...) and yeah - we're wanting to go back to bed and sleep 'til Lunch! hehe. **

**Anyway - thanks for reading! :) **


End file.
